My new roommate and I need to go grocery shopping together (I think it’ll be a really nice bonding experience, y’all!) and she was like, “Don’t be surprised if I’m, like, a total bitch about healthy food. I’m trying to, like, eat way healthier” which is fine because I’m all for fresh produce and meat and, you know, healthier eating.

So I go to the pantry this morning and all the food she brought is like Reduced Fat Wheat Thins, mini marshmallows, half-bags of Froot Loops and an uncomfortably vast selection of Campbell’s CHUNKY soups.

So I spent a surprising amount of time with that one guy. A seven-hour conversation, leading into a ten-hour shift, followed by three hours of drinking, concluded with breakfast, a wine tour and a total of about three hours in the car. Grand total: 28 consecutive hours.

And it was a terrific time, honestly. Sure, he’s got problems right now (and I have them always), but at least we know we can be friends and not completely ruin that with a couple of drunk kisses.

He knows how I feel and I know where he stands. I’m setting myself up for a really bad situation in the future probably, but for now I’m okay with things- which is really all anyone can ask for at any given time.

hellahotmess:

Perfect timing for this. Well said. Good advice. #5 is the hardest, for me. #7 makes a good point.

datebynumbers:

So, going to see your ex, huh?  Some people are lucky.  The breakup was amiable, people moved on, picket fences/loft apartments for all parties involved.  But when you’re going to see someone who broke your heart, someone who lied, cheated, led you on, what have you… you need to be prepared.

1.  Know what you’re wearing.  This is not the time to try something new.  Don’t buy a sexy new dress, don’t flaunt a new shade of lipstick.  Put on something you know works.  Something you won’t be tugging, adjusting, and writhing in.  A true friend will know exactly what you should wear.  For me, it’s my blue dress.  It says, “I’m a lady, you dimwitted miscreant.”

2.  Do not get drunk.  

3.  Seriously.  You might think a few shots of gin will give you courage and turn you into a sexpot, but it will actually just slur your already sure-to-be-awkward choice of words.

4.  Easy on the makeup.  Highlight with a light bronzer, top lid eyeliner, waterproof mascara, soft gloss.  Your natural inclination might be to vamp it up, but you want to look ethereal and sublime… not like a harpy.  

5.  Have somewhere to be.  Make plans with someone else, but NOT someone else you have romantic feelings for.  Promise someone you’ll be somewhere post ex-encounter… someone you would feel terrible letting down.  I don’t care if you want your ex back, if you want them jealous, or if you want them burned at the stake, you need to leave.  Mystery is a potent elixir.  Make sure you have it.  

6.  Have a support buddy.  Someone who knows the history, who won’t make a scene, and knows that when your eyes narrow and you start ordering Jameson neat that it is time to escort you to the parking lot before whatever you’re plotting comes to fruition.  While movies make it seem cool to have the friend that tosses a drink in your ex’s face, this is so classless and melodramatic that it embarrasses me just to think about. 

7.  Picture you’re with a guy you’re interested in and his ex comes up to him to say hello.  What would make you insecure?  If she was wearing a low-cut top, slurring her words, and said something snarky?  Or if she was graceful, elegant, said a friendly hellohowareyou and then left to join her friends?  Be the latter.  

Hate and insecurity are both terribly unattractive.  No one kneels before the cowardly.  If you want them begging, be something worth begging for.  

I went out last night in the hopes of running into that guy I have a big crush on. And, while it didn’t go according to plan, it turned into something wonderful.

He left. I called. He picked me up and took me to his apartment. I cuddled into his couch and he into a recliner and we held hands and just talked for a couple of hours. He extended an invitation for me to sleep in his bed, which I accepted. He offered me pajama pants and a t-shirt, which I also accepted. I did not change in front of him. He brought me a glass of water and laid in bed with me.

I kissed him. He kissed me back. But then something magical happened: I didn’t push any further. No clothes came off and we didn’t even simulate sex. We simply laid in bed, kissing.

This morning, it was confirmed that it will go no further, which was a bit of a killjoy, truthfully. But then we stayed in bed and talked for nearly four hours.

He is an honestly good man. I accept that he and I will not ever be together. But I will always remember our night together. We both saw entirely different sides of each other that we may never see again. And that’s okay.

Is this what it feels like to change?

I have a roommate moving in tomorrow morning. I’m having a massive anxiety attack about it, honestly. Lots to do to be “ready” for her to move in, but I’m really quite tired right now.

There’s this guy. In my life. That I have developed a big crush on. But, like, I don’t think it is going to go anywhere. I don’t think it can go anywhere. So I’ma just keep crushin’ on him and flirtin’ with him like it’s my job.

Now I’m going to go clean my vacuum cleaner. Friday nights rule.